The importance of peace and quiet cannot be described. Our daily lives seem so busy - running from one thing to another, getting home, making dinner, cleaning up and then just trying to have a little “down-time” before bed. When we are trying to sleep, sometimes we are thinking of tomorrow's “to do” list and it’s hard for our brain to shut off. It’s no wonder that a lot of people are anxious and stressed!

For people with autism, you have to times everything by 100 because that’s the way they feel things in their bodies and their minds. If you are anxious, they feel it way more and this can affect their mood and behavior. When you live with autism, you crave every little bit of those peaceful moments. You savor them, you cherish them and when you are in the midst of a storm, you hold onto them imagining when they will come again. It’s hard to deal with the tumultuous moments when you feel anxious and stressed.

I find that with both of my children, they crave the quiet moments. They want to feel good. They want to be regulated, but they have different coping mechanisms to make this happen. Even if they are having a rough time or day, they want to feel peace and they are constantly working towards that in their own way. For our daughter, it’s completely shutting everyone out of her personal space. She either won’t respond, or she will say that she needs to be alone for awhile and not to bother her. This could take anywhere from an hour to an entire evening. It depends on what has been going on in her day.

For our son, it can be a commotion of noise and lots of dialogue while trying to get a handle on his emotions so that he can get back to the “peaceful moment”. He also has times where he can regulate within a few minutes to sometimes it taking hours.

As a parent, when you are dealing with such emotions, it can stress and drain you even more and you have to have your own coping strategies so that you can be a support system while this is happening.

Although there are two totally different reactions, the ultimate goal is to be able to self-regulate and get back to the peaceful and quiet state.

In the Bible, it talks about “peace like a river” in Isaiah 66:12a

“For this is what the Lord says: “I will extend peace to her like a river…”

It’s interesting that these things are paired together because when you think of a river flowing or listen to the sound of waves lapping, you automatically feel stress release from your body. Nature is a great way to achieve these moments and it’s in God’s creation that we can find our moments. Imagine walking in the woods or hiking up a mountain or listening to the rain. These are truly gifts from God!

Shelly Wedge
Exceptional Family Ministries Coordinator
Amberlea Church