In the Moment

Does your head ever hurt because you are constantly thinking about what lays ahead? Is your “to do” list for tomorrow a million miles long?  Do you go to bed at night not being able to fall asleep because you feel that you are forgetting something?

 I have to admit that this is sometimes how I feel. Sometimes the list is so long that I cannot concentrate or enjoy the present moment. So, is it possible to get out of this rut?  YES!

 Living in the moment is a choice that we must make deliberately. This is so important especially with family. Sometimes it is easier not to engage my children, then to have to do something that I don’t feel like doing. For example, the other day, I had told our son that I would go biking with him because he just got a new bike. When I said it, I really meant it because I also enjoy biking. But the day got away from me and I had so many things to do around the house that I was exhausted. So we didn’t go.

 The next day I was tired but feeling guilty so we hopped on our bikes and had an amazing ride! I was still tired, but it was so nice to just be in the moment with him. The other day I took our daughter out for lunch and to do a little shopping. I don’t get to spend a lot of one-on-one time with her (not by my choice) but I wanted to focus all of my attention on her. I made a point of not looking at my phone and to be totally engaged in the things that we were doing. We had such great quality time together!

 When you are dealing with autism, sometimes plans can be changed at the last minute. Some things take three times the amount of time and some conversations are just totally exhausting. I think what I have learned from both of our children is that they each have so much to offer and that they are so deserving of my time and attention.

 One of my goals especially with my children is to just “be in their moment” with them, no matter if it is a long period or a short period and to always make sure that they know how much they mean to me.

 None of us is guaranteed for tomorrow, so why do we spend so much time thinking and worrying about it?

 A verse that has become especially close to my heart in the last few months is Mathew 6:34.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

 I encourage you to live in the daily moments of your life to the fullest. Enjoy them and enjoy the people who you spend time with.

Shelly Wedge
Exceptional Family Ministries Coordinator
Amberlea Church

Photo by Eirik Skarstein on Unsplash

F.A.C.E.

What is F.A.C.E.? Well it stands for Fun Autism Community Experiences. I wanted to blog about this just to remind everyone of what we are doing in this program. This program is very near and dear to my heart. Honestly, if you asked me why I felt so compelled to start this program, I would tell you that God had laid this on my heart a very long time ago. As I sit here writing this, I think back to how hard my life was …at the beginning of autism.

 There was so much isolation. Our life did not look like everyone else’s and it was tough to form social connections. Also, the cost of doing anything for a child with autism can be extremely high, especially if you need to have a support worker with them.

 I had navigated the system and we had done the very best we could as a family. We did have government autism money, but unfortunately that did not cover all of the things that we needed it to and today is much more difficult for people as there is less money available.

 I wanted to create a program where kids/teens could come and socialize on their terms and not be judged by anyone. They needed to have a safe, fun space where they could learn new things, interact with others and just be silly and have fun. This is what F.A.C.E. is all about.

Some of the things we do in F.A.C.E. are games, obstacle courses, musical chairs, dance moves, Lego and building and a variety of different crafts. This past week we did tie-dye t-shirt and fabric painting on t-shirts and hats. Some of the kids participate in all the crafts and some don’t, but all of the kids have fun while they are there. It’s nice for kids to see the same people each time they come and to feel a sense of confidence in what they are doing. I am so grateful for all of these kids and all of these families that I am getting to know better and better the more time we spend together. There is one child we have who is amazing at building things. He is so meticulous about how he places blocks or Legos. I can honestly see him doing something amazing in the future!

 It takes time to connect and to get these kids to trust you. It’s a process…..but such a worthwhile one. 

 I know that God placed this need on my heart a long time ago and I had no choice but to respond to him. God has been blessing and taking care of our family from the beginning and I know there is a reason why he placed me right where I am today. Although our group is not church based, just the fact that we have the sessions in our church makes people aware and when I do get the opportunity, I tell people about Amberlea and what we offer.

 Psalm 32:8 says:

 “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my eye upon you.”

 Please pray for this group as it continues to grow and pray for all of us who continue to connect with these amazing individuals and their families. 

 I know God will continue to bless this group. If you have any talents or skills you feel inclined to share with this group, please feel free to reach out to me and we can talk about how you may want to come and do a little segment on something. 

Shelly Wedge
Exceptional Family Ministries Coordinator
Amberlea Church

Trust

When you think of the word trust, what comes to your mind?  When I think of it, I think about someone that I can rely on, someone who will offer support, just to name a couple.

When I think of trust in relation to being an autism parent, it kind of changes things for me. It’s not necessarily harder, as much as it is different. It is things that can make you extremely vulnerable as it takes you out of your comfort zone.

When you are a parent of any child, there are always situations that may not be comfortable that you need to deal with; whether it is with one of your child’s friends or their parents, or teachers - you get what I mean.

When you are an autism parent, there is always something in the back of your mind that makes you wonder what people are thinking; what is my child going to do today? Perhaps at home or in a social situation? This feeling just gives you uneasiness in the pit of your stomach because of the unpredictability of autism. I have personally spent many days, in fact years, with that pit in my stomach always being present. 

One situation (out of hundreds!) that comes to my mind is our son’s grade 8 graduation. I was wondering if our son would be able to sit and stand through all of the parts of the ceremony. Secondly, I wondered if there would be any outbursts because of the noise situation or someone else’s little brother crying. I also wondered if he would be able to walk across the stage to accept his diploma. Since our last name begins with “W” it was a very long wait!!

I can always sense or see fear and anxiety in the face of an autism parent. It’s almost like an unspoken language. 

Trust is something an autism parent has a hard time with. It’s hard to trust the outside world like teachers, EA’s, school situations, extra-curricular activities, just to name a few. It’s something that has to be built up and you always try to have consistency with these types of things so that your child will be able to establish that “trust.”

There’s someone who you can always trust in and that is God. He will never let you down and He knows what you are going through at all times. Psalm 9:10 says, 

“Those who know your name trust in you,
for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.”

It is a comfort to know that we can always trust God for everything and that He knows our heart, our situation and we can always count on Him!

Wishing you all Easter blessings as we approach this season. 

Shelly Wedge
Exceptional Family Ministries Coordinator
Amberlea Church

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash