Where Is God?

I think that this is a question we all may think of from time-to-time. It’s easy when things are going well, but not so easy when we are struggling. Some days, I will be so connected to God and I’m ready to face the day, no matter what comes my way. But like everyone else, I have those days when I am discouraged, feel defeated and feel that I can’t wait to lay my head down on the pillow at night. It’s in the hard times that we really need God, especially me.

When you are raising a child with special needs, I can honestly say that the worries, the struggles and the things that a special needs parent has to do in a day are so very overwhelming.

 I don’t know what that looks like in everyone else’s house, but in our house it can be anything from making sure that all dietary requirements are met – I have one with an eating disorder and another one with extreme dietary requirements. Just these things alone in a day are very time consuming and tiring. Other challenges that we face are therapy, mental health issues and daily schedules to name a few.

 When our son was first diagnosed with autism, I often asked the question, “Why God”? I also wondered sometimes where He was when I was so overwhelmed and crying that I couldn’t make it to another day. But you know what? He was there right by my side. He’s always been there and He will always be there. We just have to let Him in and trust that He has a plan for all of us, including our children. I have found that keeping my faith and trust in God has not only helped me but also our entire family.  God cares about all of our circumstances no matter how bad they may be. He loves us unconditionally and will always be by our side. I have found that God does have a purpose for our perceived ‘pain.’

I feel so blessed that I am in this crazy ‘autism world’ so to speak. I have met some of the most amazing people who are now great friends and confidants. I would not have this rich blessing if I wasn’t thrust into this world. It’s amazing to me how God can bring good of what can be perceived as an impossible situation.  I think it’s important to remember that God cares. He loves us and He will always be there for us no matter what! 

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow-not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below – indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Romans 8:38, 39

Shelly Wedge
Exceptional Families Coordinator

A New Beginning

It’s a new school year and time for a fresh start! In our house, we were so done with Covid and so tired of being in the house for so long, doing on-line school.

Well some things in our house have changed and some have remained the same.

 For our son, he is back to school full-time, going full days which is a total change from last September. He is in high school and is currently still functioning on what was coined last year as the “quadmester.” For those of you who aren’t familiar with this term, it’s when the semester (which is normally 4 courses) is split up and only doing two courses at a time.

There are pros and cons to this situation as I am sure you can imagine. It’s good to focus on two courses at once as it allows you to concentrate and put all your effort into them. The cons are that the courses are intensified as they only last until mid-November and the courses are a very long length in duration every day. For example, our son has one course in the morning which lasts 2.5 hours and one course in the afternoon that lasts 2.75 hours.  This is a very long time for anyone - - never mind someone on the autism spectrum.

 Our daughter has started University, which is in itself a huge change. There are so many things to navigate, especially when you have a disability. We have had to help her get set up with the accessibility office and help her figure out some financial issues as well.  It’s a lot for anyone to deal with but especially hard when you have a disability.  I don’t really like using this term because I don’t look at it in that way, I am just using it for writing purposes only. She is very intelligent, an awesome artist and an overall great person and I love watching her creations. I wish sometimes I could be more like her.

Her schedule is different as her university is doing things on-line at the moment. They hope to get back into the school soon and I think this will be very good for her mental state. I feel that for her this fall has been sort of a graduation into more independence and learning more about herself and being able to make more decisions on her own. We of course are always here to help her along the way.

 There have been so many changes to our sleeping schedule, our bathroom schedule and our day-to-day schedule as every day in our house looks a little different. It’s crazy! But at least we are moving around more and able to leave our house more.

For anyone who has different needs, changes to schedules and life changes, whether they are school, social, or home related, can be extremely difficult and challenging to navigate. We are in this boat, so to speak.

I am proud of both of our children for the way they have been able to manage with few major meltdowns or issues so far. These can happen and may still yet come, but we will deal with that if it happens.

There has been excitement, fear, anxiousness and apprehension in our household.

But no matter what happens, God is always in control. We may not be able to control our children’s emotions or outcomes, even though it’s difficult. But, what I have realized along the way is that we have to leave our children in God’s hands and trust that He is here. He will protect them and He will also be there for us as parents to guide them, love them, cry with them when they are happy and hold them when they are sad.

Life can be big and scary sometimes, but I know that God is greater than anything and He will never leave any of us – ever!

God promises in Isaiah 41:10 “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand.”

Be well and stay safe!

Shelly Wedge
Exceptional Families Coordinator

CONNECTION

con·nec·tion - “a relationship in which a person, thing, or idea is linked or associated with something else.”

Connections are so important and they can mean so many different things. We can be connected to our jobs, connected to friends, connected to nature and even connected to material things such as our possessions. I want to talk about connections to people – relationships, as they are so important for everyone.  In this time of Covid, we may feel as though we have lost some of our connection with the world, with people and even possibly with ourselves.

 For people on the autism spectrum connections are very important, but they are also very difficult. You see they want to connect, but they don’t always know how to do it and it can also be very frustrating for them. I see this in my own children. They both have difficulty making connections with people in different ways. But what I have tried to do this summer is connect with them where they are at, on their level to bring us closer.

With our daughter, I find that trying to relate to her in the moments where she is capable and willing about things that interest her and are important to her. This includes art, videos and games.  For our son, we connect through activities. We both like to swim, paddleboard, canoe, binge watch Netflix – so this is what we do to connect. As I look at this summer, I am so happy to have had these special connections as I feel it helps bring our relationship closer which is so important.

 I think sometimes the outside world cannot always understand the connections that can be made for those who have different needs and abilities. They are real. These people deserve and want to be valued and want to connect and belong just like everyone else. Often times I notice that for people on the autism spectrum who aren’t as verbal, are left out and that gives them even more of a feeling of not belonging. We need to change this by asking how we can help, what ways are best to connect, asking questions.

 At Amberlea Church, we are inclusive and want to come along side of families with these needs, connect with them and bring them into a closer relationship with God, no matter what that may look like for them. We strive to build relationships with people and help them become part of a community that nurtures and cares about their entire family.

 Scripture says,

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.” I Thessalonians 5:11

 We would love to connect with you and your family!

 Shelly Wedge
Execeptional Families Coordinator
Amberlea Church