Yes, I said it, summer is finally here! For some parents, this is very good news and for others it can be a time that you experience extreme anxiety. I am talking about the parents with children on the autism spectrum. All of a sudden the routine has changed. The days look different and this can totally throw your child into turmoil. I found that when our son was younger, even doing something extremely fun like a camp, came with added stress, sometimes crying and just overall unhappiness because of what to expect. The people were different, the environment was different and very often he did not know anyone.

I believe that even with the best plans and intentions, things can go badly. One time I had our son in an autism camp. The staff was fully qualified and there were good ratios of staff to children. I so badly wanted him to participate so that he could work on his social interactions with his peers. I ended up having to “hang around” the place because he was unsure of the people and he wanted to have me close in case he didn’t make it through the entire day. I did this happily as I wanted him to experience at least some of the fun activities that they were doing with the kids. I remember one day they had reptiles and they let me come in which was really nice of them.

Camps can quite often be a challenge especially if no one there truly knows your child. I also presumed with our son that the more things he was in, the better his summer would be, but boy was I wrong about this. Turns out that our son loved his down time. He wanted to have no structure. He wanted to do his own things and just not be forced to think or participate. Our son had done many years of at home therapy and he was always in a structured schedule and environment and eventually it just caught up with him and he was mentally finished. Now as he’s older, he likes going up to the cottage and just being with nature and we make little day trip plans or plans to go see musicals. It’s a lot of fun and boy it took me many years to figure this out. I think each person has to figure out what works best for their child.

The summer can also be a good time to try things that you don’t normally have time for during the year. We started going to live theatre a few years back as our son really loves it. Now we normally go to one or two more expensive musicals downtown, but we have also found a really great live outdoor theatre by our cottage and we go and see at least 3-4 shows per summer. It’s really economical and the shows are amazing!! Sometimes he sings and claps throughout and I totally love seeing him in this way. It makes my heart so happy!

Every person in the autism community is different and we have to be in tune with these differences but also try to enhance their strengths and find out where their true passion lies. Both of our children are very creative but in different ways. Our son is a really good photographer and this summer I am hoping to help him create some stock so that he can start to sell his things on-line. This is one of his passions. He also likes to do crafts and create other things.

Our daughter is an amazingly creative person. She is in graphic design at university and her creative power is so unbelievable. She is a true artist/illustrator and creates her own art/prints. She makes jewelry. She does photography. She sews and makes her own patterns. She has created many clothing costumes etc. She is so multi-talented and I am blown away by her creativity!

With creative people comes the struggles of time-management, anxiety and other stressors that others wouldn’t be bothered by. In our house, anxiety can be amped through the roof from 1-10 within a couple of minutes. This can create chaos and stress for everyone in our house and at times it’s either one or the other that this happens to but all of us pay the consequences. This can be extremely challenging.

I am grateful to God for giving us the tools as a family to deal with unexpected situations. My husband and I long for those peaceful moments and we cherish these so much. When we have drama happening, we try to spell each other off to keep our environment as calm as we can until it passes.

We have learned techniques over the years and we try our best to use them in chaotic moments. If you have a child on the spectrum you will understand “the moments” I am talking about.

I feel that my faith has strengthened as an autism parent. I think back to when the diagnosis happened and all of the challenges that came after. It was so very difficult, so much more than I ever could have imagined, but I remember my husband saying to me to just keep the faith, trust God. That has always stuck with me, even in the darkest moments. I believe that God had and continues to have a plan for my life and that of our children and the more I trust, the more he guides me in the right direction. I always remember that I am not alone and that God is always there beside me each moment of every single day.

Autism is a journey of hills and valleys and flatland. I love coasting on the flatland. I hate the valleys but know that they are necessary for growth and when climbing the hills, God gives me the strength I need to get to the top of the mountain.

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for,
the conviction of things not seen.”
Hebrews 11:1

Keep the faith, God will not let you down!

Shelly Wedge
Exceptional Family Ministries Coordinator
Amberlea Church