How to love difficult people.

So recently I found myself in a rather uncomfortable and emotionally unsettling situation with a woman that I just met.  We were having a pleasant enough encounter when something I said greatly offended her. I was surprised by her reaction and immediately apologized. She, however was not at all interested in accepting my apology and continued to berate me. 

What do you do when someone is unwilling to forgive or is just plain difficult?

Maybe it’s the in-law that is constantly critiquing your parenting skills or offering “suggestions” for improvement. Or the child that knows “everything”, particularly how to jump on your last nerve. Perhaps it’s the co-worker who is willing to do whatever it takes to get ahead including sabotaging you. Or the passive aggressive friend who is loving one moment and gives you the cold shoulder the next. The list can go on and on.  

What do you do?

My natural tendency is to want to run in the other direction, or avoid them as much as possible. But is that what honours God?

In Luke 6:27-29, Jesus describes things difficult people might do: “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them.”

And then in the next few verses, Jesus offers three radical ways to respond.

1. Give extravagantly.

“Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.” (Luke 6:30, NIV)

Our first step is to become acutely aware that Jesus loves us right where we are. He loves us when we’re prickly. He loves us when we fail to think before we speak. As hard as it is to understand, we don’t always deserve a loving response, but our Heavenly Father gives it in generous measure.

Being loved by Jesus allows us to love others. We are free to give a measure of mercy, even as we work through conflict to resolve differences.

2. Treat them the way you want to be treated.

“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” (Luke 6:31, NIV)

When we treat others the way we want to be treated, we give up the need to control them or the situation. We stop looking for flaws, as we realize how deeply flawed we are as well. We hold back verbal karate chops, choosing words that heal rather than heat up the situation, because that’s exactly what we’d desire if the tables were turned.

3. Love unexpectedly.

“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them.” (Luke 6:32, NIV)

Loving difficult people is the hard path of faith, but it’s also where God’s greatest work begins — in our own heart. Revenge or retaliation, as good as it might feel in the moment doesn’t make us stronger, quite the contrary. It is in loving that person and trying to find peace that makes us stronger.

So we love. WE love those who don’t love us back. WE love those who are difficult. WE love those who don’t and will never see eye to eye with us, not because it is easy, it’s not, but because that is who we are.

 And they will know we are Christians by our love.

Join us this Sunday in person at Amberlea Church, 1820 Whites Rd., Pickering ON (please register) or online Amberlea Church YouTube

 as we continue our series entitled:

Finding the Missing Peace.

Waiting, expecting and hoping

The past few months have been filled with joy as we have had opportunity to gather after so long apart. It has been good to see people make their way back to the sanctuary — minding seriously all COVID protocols — where we can worship God in community.

As you enter the sanctuary on Sunday you will notice that our hospitality team has been hard at work to help us to prepare for Christmas.  The tree is up, beautifully decorated and lit.  You may also notice a beautiful Advent wreath adorned with five candles.

So what does Advent mean?  

Advent is a season of waiting, expecting, and hoping. Beginning four Sundays before Christmas and ending on Christmas Eve, Advent helps us to prepare for the coming, or “advent” of the Christ child at Christmas. 

Have you ever wondered about the origin of the Advent wreath?

For hundreds of years, Christians have used an Advent wreath to inspire their hopes for the coming of Christ. By lighting candles and reading Bible verses, we are reminded about the meaning of Christ’s birth and, if you are anything like me, become more excited about his coming in the past, in the future, and in our own lives.

There is no set meaning for the candles of the Advent wreath (except for the middle candle, which always signifies the birth of Jesus and is often called the Christ Candle). The four candles around the Christ Candle, most often point to peace, hope, joy, and love.  However, some churches identify the candles with key figures in the stories of the birth of Jesus, such as the shepherds, the angels, Joseph, and Mary.

Advent wreaths can also have candles with a variety of colours. Some wreaths use all white candles; others use three purple or blue candles, one pink candle, and one white candle in the middle. 

The purple/blue candles remind us of how serious and solemn God’s people have been in waiting for the Messiah. The pink signifies the joy of our waiting. The white is triumphant and celebratory because Christ is born.

Each Sunday (beginning this Sunday) leading up to and including Christmas eve at Amberlea we will gather around the Advent wreath in a new and surprising way.  You are very welcome to join us in person or online to share in the Advent season, a time of waiting, expecting, and hoping. 

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This Sunday we will begin a new four part sermon series entitled Finding the Missing Peace.  In-person or Online!  Join us in the way you feel most comfortable.

Advent Blessings to you!

What's your "that"?

I spoke with a friend the other day who stated, with great determination in her voice, “I am going back to the gym.”

“That’s great.”  I said

She continued, “I have decided I am going to run a marathon next September and if I want to do that I need to be in training, asap.”

She is not trying to run a marathon, she is in training to run a marathon and if you were with us on Sunday, or joined us online, we talked about the significant difference between trying and training.  Check it out.

Honestly, how many of us can just get up off the couch after a long season of Netflix binging and run a marathon without conditioning and training our body?  I would say not many, if any at all.  It would be unthinkable not to mention dangerous!  My friend knows that. So she has committed to a training regimen to prepare her to achieve her goal.

I am not a runner but I, probably like you, have goals that I would like to achieve. My friends’ words were spot on for all of us.  

“….and, if I want to do that I need to be in training, asap.”

What is your “that”?

What is the goal you want to achieve?

Maybe there is a change you want to make, or a habit you want to break.  What is your that?  What is it that God is calling you to do, to change, to add or remove from your life?

Perhaps it is time to stop half-heartedly trying to achieve our goals, and go into deliberate, intentional training of our body, mind and heart to achieve the outcome we want… but perhaps more importantly… becoming the person God has created us to be.  

And who are we called to be?

The Apostle Paul said to his young protege, Timothy. "Train yourself to be godly.” (1 Timothy 4: 7)

We are each called to that - to be godly. And guess what?  It doesn’t happen by accident.  We don’t just stumble into godly behaviours, attitudes and thoughts.  We are to be in spiritual training to become who God created us to be.  And as we honour God, we will be blessed in ways we can hardly imagine!

Join me Sunday, in-person or online, as we conclude our series entitled Our Sure Reward.