Uncertainty

We hear the word “uncertainty” and it naturally makes us feel uncomfortable, ill at ease and maybe even gives you a pain in your stomach.

Our culture thrives on things being great, being in the now, having fun, posting on social media about all the fun we are having - being in control of our lives.

We all know intellectually that this is NOT true but it is very easy to buy into the messages that we are seeing multiple times a day. 

Well, when you have a child with autism, nothing is ever certain again. The dreams you had for your child may seem shattered. The shame you feel may seem real. The tears you cry that no one else sees can keep you up at night. When I talk to parents who have children with autism, I hear the same stories over and over again. “He doesn’t fit in.” “I don’t know what to do.” “What will happen to him when I’m gone?” “He’s having trouble at school.”  I could go on and on with the list but it would take me a few pages. I have so much empathy for these parents and my heart is truly broken at times when I look into their eyes.

Uncertainty is the only thing that we can all be certain we will experience. We have no control over anything that happens in our lives - none - no matter how much we think we do.

 When I talk to parents, I always point out positive things that their child can do and I try to get them thinking into the future about how they can help their child find “their path” to do something wonderful with their gifts. Sometimes these parents are so busy or so distraught that they don’t even realize all the things their child can do.  

The more I talk to parents, sometimes the worse I feel because honestly, people can be brutal with their words especially with children with autism? Why do people always say what the child “can’t” do or how “bad” their day has been. It’s like saying that person has cancer. A person is not their diagnosis. They are truly so much more.

Parents of children with autism get beaten down time and time again and they need encouragement and positivity, no matter what.

 I feel that uncertainty is far more prevalent in the autism community as these parents (and I include myself in this category) worry about the future at times. It’s not always black and white as it is with typical individuals. We have to have different contingencies in place to make sure our children are supported through their lifetime.

No matter what, none of us knows what the future holds, we can only trust God and that is where our faith and hope comes in. I am truly so grateful for my faith. I can’t even imagine what it must be like for people who don’t have God to lean on.

I love how Matthew 6:34 describes it:

“Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own.”  

This is a really good reminder to be aware of the future but not to let it prevent us from living in the present.

Let us all remember to look to God and encourage one another no matter what our situation may be. 

Shelly Wedge  
Exceptional Family Ministries Coordinator
Amberlea Church

Support

When our family first started coming to Amberlea Church, I have to be honest, it was about being involved in a smaller church. We had been attending a much larger church and we were finding that our son who has ASD was having difficulty being in such a large space. There was more noise and more people (which for church is a good thing!) and at that point in time people really did not understand autism so it was much harder to talk about and to have his needs met.

If I am also being honest, another reason was Pastor Mona!!!  She is one in a million as you all know!  

From the first moment we stepped in the door at Amberlea Church, we felt welcome. From the first time our kids went to KidZone, we were met with such lovely people who took the time to ask us questions, find out how they could best support our family and they just cared so much. We always felt a part of the Amberlea community and we always felt supported and loved. Our kids were welcomed and able to worship in the ways they could.

One of the reasons for this blog is to express genuine gratitude for the support of our congregation with our Exceptional Family Ministry. We have had open conversations with people about our program. The congregation has graciously amended things for our program on Sunday mornings.  They permitted modifications to accommodate safety issues to the building allowing us to run our community program (F.A.C.E.). Also they have provided the space for us to do this which connects us to the Amberlea Community outside of church. 

This program would not exist without the acceptance and vision of the church allowing us to start this program.

If it wasn’t for such support and encouragement, our church would not be where it is with this program.  I humbly want to express my heartfelt appreciation to each and every person in our congregation. We have been so blessed in so many ways and this allows us to provide this service to such a special group of individuals.

As I have developed relationships in our church, I personally feel truly blessed for the godly people of this congregation. I am so proud and happy to be a part of this church!  It truly feels like home and it also feels like part of such an amazing extended family!

I think this verse describes our church well:

“Love one another with brotherly affection.
Outdo one another in showing honor.
Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek and show hospitality.”
Romans 12:10-13

 Shelly Wedge 
Exceptional Family Ministries Coordinator
Amberlea Church

Community

Community is a very important part of our lives. We live in a community, we grow up in a community, we socialize in our community and we count on people in our community.

Amberlea Church is part of the Amberlea community and we have relationships with many different people and organizations in our community. We come together to help each other in our community.  

 Our F.A.C.E group is an extension of this community. Although there are many “autism” communities (many being on-line), we are so blessed to have families that we support as part of our Amberlea community. 

 Many times families who support individuals with autism are fearful of their community. They feel that nobody understands what they are going through and they also may have reservations about being a part of regular activities in a community. Some are afraid to take their children out to public places, while others do this very little to avoid any negative reactions from people. To be honest, I was like this a very long time ago. As I look back now, I had so much stress about doing regular activities like sports or recreation groups, even church because of the way in which people would respond or look. I would often contemplate not going to a function because of this and there were many times when I didn’t. 

 I am happy to say that I haven’t felt this way in such a long time. Even back then, I did venture out into the community for many things. I had many positive encounters as well as many negative encounters with people. That never stopped me from wanting our kids to be part of their community.

Our family has come such a long way! Not because of our own doing, but because we had people who were willing to walk beside us and support us no matter what. I have had many pleasant conversations with people who don’t understand autism at all, but who have an open mind and are willing to help in whatever way possible. We also have God on our side helping us each step of the way.

Now I deal with people who are afraid to take their children out and I talk to them lovingly. I am always happy to reinforce what they are doing and I always point out to parents, positive things about their child. I have met some totally awesome people that I never would have met if autism had not come into our lives and for that I am truly grateful to call many of these people my friends. 

F.A.C.E. is a part of the Amberlea Community and in extension Amberlea Church. I remember coming to Amberlea a long time ago and although they did not have all the answers about how to help us worship, they were willing to help and support our family. For that I will be forever and always grateful. I strive to pass this feeling onto others that I meet as well. I want all children to be included no matter what their situation may be.

 We are all part of God’s “community”, which is the church and the people and the relationships that we have with each other.

 “How pleasant is it when God’s people live together in unity.
There is a special kind of joy that we experience when we are together in unity
with other believers.”    Psalm 133:1-3

Shelly Wedge 
Exceptional Family Ministries Coordinator
Amberlea Church