Happiness!

This is a word that means different things to different people.  Every day I choose to feel happy for something.  Today I was happy for a few things – the sunshine, being outside, hanging with family and just being in the simple moments. I love looking at the dandelions even though I know that I have to weed them out of my grass!

Some days are harder than others and I don’t necessarily have a “happy” feeling but if I’m honest I do try to recognize how much I have to be happy about. When I think about eating dinner, I am extremely grateful that our family has more than enough food to eat as many do not. When I think about air conditioning (yes, today is a really hot one!!!) I am glad that I am not sweating!

When I think about autism and the positives it has brought into my life, I smile. I know that God had a plan for our family and made each one of us unique individuals. On my faith journey in this area, I have come a really long way. When the kids were younger, I sometimes would cry out to God, “Why me?” But now when I look at the road we have travelled and the road still ahead of us, I am humbled and honoured to be a parent of two amazing different individual children. This was all part of God’s plan for our lives, but it took a lot of time for me to realize this.

When I look at our son and our daughter I am in awe of how much happiness I feel when I am with each of them. I can truly see their unique gifts and spending time with them makes me extremely happy. I love the different activities that I can do with each of them and I love how much I learn by doing this.

If you have a child on the spectrum, you may struggle to find happiness in the course of your day. You may see negatives and very few positives. I encourage you to flip this around. Try not to listen to what others say – whether it be teachers, friends, anyone who makes a comment about your child without really knowing them. Try to see their uniqueness and the gifts that they have to offer this world. Remember that some of these people really do NOT know your child so you should NOT pay attention to them.

Remember that God created each of us in His image and He wants us to experience the happiness with our own children, the way He experiences it when He protects and loves us.

If you spend too much time down in the dumps, now is the time to sit up, get up, shake it off and choose happiness as much as you possibly can. When you feel that you cannot do it alone, I encourage you to pray to our loving God to help you change your heart and your mindset.

I like the way that 1 John 4:11 describes it,

“Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.”

I challenge you this week to ‘up’ your happiness monitor and find ways each day to celebrate. Write them down so that you can look at them when you are having a day filled with challenges and let this be your guide to a new way forward.

Til’ next time………

Shelly Wedge

Exceptional Family Ministry Coordinator

Amberlea Church

Photo by Count Chris on Unsplash

COVID Confusion

There is no doubt that COVID-19 has been tough and rough on everyone. It has affected people in many different ways. For someone with autism who functions on routine for security and peace in their life it has been especially hard to wrap their heads around outward forces that they cannot control and to some degree may not fully comprehend.

First it was stay at home, and for some that meant not going to school anymore or a change to their school structure. Doing school at home for someone with autism has its own challenges. For example, a smaller child may not be able to engage with a teacher on the computer. For an older child it may be trying to pay attention and sit still and be engaged for a full hour lecture. It simply was difficult for everyone to manage and adjust and then keep adjusting as things kept changing. This in itself is torture for those on the spectrum.

For all of us, it meant not going to church in person, but instead watching it online. For the most part kids don’t do great at this -- well at least those on the spectrum. So, church had become very foreign to them. As a parent of teens on the spectrum, I tried to engage my children in this but sadly it did not work out very well. With all of the other changes we were dealing with, this one was extremely difficult.

Now we are back to the church building – hooray!!! So, it’s time to get back to our church routine. But, let’s face it, it’s been over 2 years and it’s a HUGE adjustment going back to the building – for everyone.

My son, who is on the spectrum, and I went into the building on a Friday after school. I told him that we were going to be going back to church on Sunday and we had to set up the sensory room for Sunday morning and move some things around as some things had been in storage for a while.  As we were about to enter the building, he stopped and said, “No, it’s COVID-19!” It was such a shocking reaction for me to witness but this was how he felt and he was worried. I told him that it was okay and that yes there is still Covid around but that we were going to be safe just like at school. He then came into the building and we proceeded to do what we needed to do.

For another younger child, coming back into the church building was a different experience. It was forgetting the routine and structure of church and what we do when we are at there. These are big adjustments and need to be eased into slowly.

It takes time as it is very confusing on different levels for different individuals.

For me, observing their reactions, it opens my eyes. I try to put myself in the other person’s shoes as to how this must feel for them. I try to do things to make it easier for them to adjust and be able to learn about Jesus, as this is our goal. We want to support individuals with autism and we want them to be part of our Amberlea Church community.

I am so grateful for Amberlea for having an Exceptional Family Ministries program and I feel honoured to be a part of it. I am looking forward to reaching out to more families in our community and watching our little seedling grow! (Thought I would throw that is as it is spring time!)

I love the verses that say,

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.” Psalm 127:3

“Jesus said ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.’“  Matthew 19:14

We are blessed by all children and can learn something from each and every one of them!

We look forward to welcoming all families at church!

Shelly Wedge

Exceptional Family Ministry Coordinator

Amberlea Church

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Remembering………

As a parent of two exceptional individuals, I remember many challenges that we faced over time.  It started out with the diagnosis, the tears, the misunderstandings, the whys?

I remember all the hours of research, wondering, hoping, praying, not knowing who to talk to, where to go for help - all of the tears that we both experienced.

I remember the financial strain, the people who helped us and all of the hard work that we had to do and continue to do as a family to understand how to move forward effectively for the sake of our child.

I remember all of the teachers I had to communicate with, some good and helpful, and some who didn’t care.

I remember crawling into bed at night so mentally and emotionally exhausted that I didn’t know how I was going to make it another day.

I remember some people whispering, looking at my child making comments and how much it hurt me.

I remember some really tough behaviours that we had to deal with and work through.

I remember all of the amazing people that I met along this crazy journey and how they supported our family, helped us, educated us and were by our side day in and day out.

I remember the love, the kindness, the joy that we experienced when an achievement was made. It was so exciting!

Most of all, I always remember how much God loved us – our family. Even when I didn’t understand, I knew that God was there.

If you are a parent with an exceptional child, you know where I am coming from. There are so many things to face every day that it can be so overwhelming. You may wonder how you are going to make it through the day. You may want to give up. Whatever feelings you may experience are yours and need to be validated.

I want to tell you that God loves you and your family. He is there for you at your lowest low and your highest high. He will never leave you. I have learned over the years that God is the one constant and He has never let me down -ever.

I love the verse from Isaiah 54:10, “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” said the Lord who has compassion on you.”

When you are feeling as though perhaps you can’t go on, remember how much God loves you and cares for you. We at Amberlea Church also love you and care about you.

Here at Amberlea we will be opening our doors once again to our exceptional needs program in the coming weeks and would love to have you and your family join us on Sunday mornings!

Shelly Wedge

Exceptional Families Coordinator

Amberlea Church