Growth

Growth is an important part of all of our lives. We can’t just stay where we are as we are constantly changing, every day. This can be exhilarating for some and scary for others. But no matter what we want or don’t want, it is always happening.

I think that growth is so very important. For kids/teens with special needs this may not look the same way, but it still happens. This summer I have been trying to focus my attention on growth with both our children. It looks different for each of them because they have their own unique needs.

For our son, the focus is on more independence and problem-solving skills in every situation possible. For example, what do you need when you go swimming and what do you have to do to get there? For the average person, this is a no brainer, but for someone on the autism spectrum, there are many steps that have to be done in order to be successful at this. You have to think about where your bathing suit is. Next you have to change into your bathing suit, put your clothes away, find your towel, get your shoes and whatever else you need and come down to the dock or pool. Other problem solving we’ve been working on is what do you do when something isn’t going right on your cell phone? He knows he can come and ask for help which is great. The next step I am working on with our son is showing him how he can fix the problem himself without having to always come and ask and possibly getting upset about it.

For our daughter, we are working on more independence with money. She is going to university in the Fall and we are trying to teach her a little bit about bank accounts, credit cards, looking at prices of things, knowing how much money you have in your account.

Growth can also be in the form of physical activity which we are also doing. Learning new skills is always fun! This summer, my son and I learned (and are still learning) how to paddleboard. It is a great activity and takes many physical aspects into account. You have to be able to balance, turn yourself around, watch where you are going to stay out of the way of other boats or not hit into docks. Growth often comes from learning something new.

There is no right or wrong way for growth, it’s just trial and error and takes patience and time.

Just as we grow physically, God wants us to grow in Him spiritually as well. It is just as important to feed our souls so that we can continue to get to know God in a deeper way and develop a more intimate relationship with him. One way that I find you can do this is just by reading your Bible on a daily basis. It does not have to be a long drawn out activity. Just a few minutes in the morning can help start your spiritual growth. If you find it hard or don’t know where to start, there are many resources that can help you. I personally use a little book titled “Jesus Calling” that goes through a short passage and some verses every day. This sets me up for my day and helps me to focus on my relationship with God. 

The YouVersion Bible app is a great tool that is handy on your phone or other device or as an audio book. You can pick a Bible reading plan that fits your summer schedule including daily minute devotions, topical readings, book based plans or even reading through the Bible in a year. It’s never too late to start.  There is something for kids and teens too. 

https://www.youversion.com/the-bible-app/

https://www.youversion.com/the-bible-app-for-kids/

https://bibleappforkids.com/parents/guide

If you need help connecting with resources, please reach out and we will be glad to get in touch with you to help you along your journey.

 “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love, lives in God, and God in them.” 1 John 4:16

Written by:

Shelly Wedge, Exceptional Families Coordinator

School’s Out! Now What?

So schools ended and it’s finally summer! Now what? What plans do you have for the summer? What are we allowed to do as a community? How are you feeling after such a crazy school year?

 These are all questions that many of us ask no matter who we are.  Summer is typically a time to take a break, maybe some vacation, relax, go to camp, it could be a number of things.

This could mean going on trips, seeing family that you don’t get to see that often. Perhaps you are just taking a deep breath, being grateful that the crazy school year is behind us and hoping to get back to some sense of normalcy. But what does that really look like?

 This can vary for person to person and family to family. Lots of people are normally used to going to camp, having part-time jobs for the summer, hanging out with friends and generally just enjoying the weather.

 For families who have children or teens with special needs, it doesn’t look the same. The camps that are accessible can be out of reach financially for many people. Especially with younger children, the change in routine can be very difficult to handle with the possibility of having more free time than before. In Covid times, things naturally look different.

So what does everyone do?

 Well, this year it seems like everything is changing all the time, so that can make it difficult for all of us to plan special times for our children this summer.

 I know for our family it’s definitely not a typical summer, but we are trying to make plans the best we can just to enjoy some time away at our cottage. The thing that I find difficult as a parent of two teens with autism is letting them have time to just relax after a tough year but also keeping them engaged in some activities that will keep their mind occupied.

 For our son, it means doing lots of physical activities outside as much as possible while also trying to keep up on some reading and some loosely related learning activities so that he will not lose focus or momentum come the fall. 

 For our daughter, it’s keeping her busy doing the things that she enjoys like art while also giving her space to just chill and rest her mind.

 I know for younger children with special needs, it’s very important to try to keep the learning momentum going each day so that they do not lose skills that they have worked so hard to achieve. This can be difficult for parents to do, especially when the weather is so nice.

 Whatever you try to do this summer, I hope you can connect with other families who have similar interests as yours. When allowed, it’s nice to arrange a get together for kids as well as parents.

 Amberlea Church is offering a few summer programs accessible for all kids and families.

Family Nights are every Tuesday night at 7pm during the summer.  They are a fun virtual activity for the whole family to do together.  Each week is a fun new game!

Camp in a Box is offered for the month of July. They are weekly activity boxes that include a daily activity, games and special surprises.  Included is daily live Zoom calls with the Summer Team and story videos created by them on our Amberlea Summer Camp YouTube channel.   If you are looking for some activities to engage your children, please sign up for this. There are modifications for children with special needs and it may help you engage your children for part of the day. There is also a caring staff that will connect with families to help support you.  

“For where two or three gather in my name, there I am with them.” Matthew 18:20

 God is with us in everything we do. I hope you take comfort in this promise. Enjoy the start of your summer!

Shelly Wedge
Exceptional Families Coordinator

For more information:

Camp in a Box
https://storage.googleapis.com/church_events.amberleachurch.ca/42-shareAnnoucement_Amberlea_-646552427.html 

Family Nights
https://storage.googleapis.com/church_events.amberleachurch.ca/42-shareAnnoucement_Amberlea_866528059.html

Celebrate! (by Shelly Wedge)

Who and what do you think of when I say the words, “Father’s Day?” Is it your own father, your husband, or another significant man in your life? Is it someone who is still around to celebrate with you or is it someone who is no longer with you?

What do you think of when you are a parent of a special needs child? Is it the same? Do your feelings differ from your up-bringing?

This is a tough one for many people, including myself. My Dad passed away when I was 21 years old and to this day, I still miss him every Father’s Day. But the pain has lessened as the years have passed. I always try to think of good memories and fun times that we had together with him and that’s what carries me and gives me strength, even when it’s difficult.

I often wonder what my own Dad would think about having two special needs grandchildren, if he was alive. I sometimes play different scenarios in my head and imagine what he would say or what his advice to me would be. I think this is one of the things that I miss the most, not having him ever know our kids or watch them grow up. It’s bittersweet.

Then I think about the father of our children, George and how he handles being a father to our kids. He truly amazes me because even from the very beginning, he always used to tell me not to worry about the ‘label’. Instead to just focus on our child (at that time we only knew about one child being on the spectrum) and that’s what got me through. For a special needs parent or even a grandparent it can mean a ‘loss of dreams’, or the loss of a type of relationship that they had planned for their child.

I’m here to tell you though that even though there may be differences, there are also many benefits and love that can come from a child with special needs. The challenges (and there are many) can be difficult, but when your child achieves something monumental that others may never even notice, you celebrate!

Let me just give you an example. We were teaching our son the habit of shutting the bathroom door when he uses it, for literally 3 years. I verbally reminded him. There were times that I had a big sign on the inside of the bathroom to shut the door. I would shut it for him AND remind him. Sometimes he did it… but at the beginning, he didn’t. It was so frustrating because he needed to be taught about privacy. Until one day, it just finally clicked! Imagine! For most pre-teens or teens this is really a non-issue, but for a child on the spectrum, many ‘taken for granted’ skills need to be taught. We need to break it down, sometimes with verbal or written prompts for them to do it. So we celebrate!!!

“As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him.” (Psalm 103:13)

We have a heavenly Father who loves us and sees our struggles and our cries for help and He is there for us – to listen to us, to comfort us and to celebrate with us.

Whatever your Father’s Day looks like, remember how much God, your heavenly Father loves you. He is the constant, even when you don’t have an earthly Father to look up to. He will always be there and if you ask me, that is really comforting.