God, Why aren't you listening?

Have you ever gone to God with a prayer?  A desperate, “Please God, if You only, then I will …” kind of prayer?

I remember when I was in grade 9 I had this huge crush on a grade 12 boy.  He was so cute, and so smart.  All year long we exchanged glances and I would “accidentally” bump into him in the hall. I prayed and prayed that I would have the courage speak to him but the whole year went by and I hadn’t. Then finally at the end of the school year, as we were wrapping things up in the yearbook room, I found myself alone with him. I plucked up all my courage and said,

“Could you pass me the yellow folder, please?”  He smiled, picked up the folder and sat beside me.

My heart was beating so hard and so loud, I was sure he could hear it from where he was sitting.

My prayers had come true.  All the nights I dreamt of this moment.  I just knew that God had heard my prayers! He was going to be my boyfriend and we were going to live happily ever after.  It had to be God’s will because that was what I had been praying for.

Then, out of nowhere this dark haired, beautiful boy leaned over and kissed me right there in the yearbook room!  In hindsight it was just a sweet peck, but it was a kiss!  After I caught my breath, he told me that he was moving to the States to live with his aunt and uncle.  He was leaving the next day.

“NOOOO.”  I was devastated.

“How could You do this to me, God! This guy was the one! I have prayed and prayed and prayed! He was supposed to be the one!  God, what are you doing?” And I even wondered, “God, do you even know what you are doing?”

Of course God did.  Of course God does.

How often in life when we bump up against the unknown we meet with the same answer every time, “Have faith, be patient, it will all work out.”  It’s something that is easier said than done (Proverbs 3:5-6).

However, many years later, I understood.

Looking back, that ‘relationship’ would have never worked. I couldn’t be with someone who randomly kisses girls in a yearbook room ;)

Instead, God put someone else in my life, a boy who was so much more amazing, and much more handsome. A person who adores me, supports me and makes me a better person. All along, despite my little crushes and my desires, God had the perfect person just waiting for me. But God was waiting for me, to wait on Him.

Today, what are you asking God for and not getting? It's frustrating to not know what God has planned, but if you have faith, and put your trust in God, God has something even better waiting for you — better than you can ever imagine. But it’s God’s plan and God’s timing. Are you willing to have faith and wait?

For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.  (1 Corinthians 1:25)

Take heart

I remember as a little kid, maybe 5 or 6 years old, hearing my parents fighting and feeling like the whole world was crumbling all around me. As an only child, I didn’t have the comfort of a sibling, so I would sit in my closet with my knees pulled to my chest, my ears covered, my eyes shut tightly, whispering to myself what I wanted to be true — “It’s going to be ok. It’s going to be okay.”

Psalm 31:24 says, "Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord."

This is David talking to us. He is a king at this point in his life, and things are pretty intense. His son is trying to kill him, his neighbors are slamming their doors in his face. David himself says that he is unwanted and forgotten, and his power and leadership are dissolving. He is pouring his pain and grief and suffering out.

And at the same time, David is calling out for the absolute deliverance of God — his heart is tender and open. In this Psalm, David is reminding God, or rather reminding himself, that God once before pulled David out of the pit and would God please be that God once again?

But God does not change, even when we do. God’s mind does not change about whether we are worth being rescued. You are always and forever worth being rescued by God.

The verse says, "Be strong and take heart…" Another translation says, "Take courage all you who wait for the Lord."

I think about that little kid all those years ago and how God rescued her.

Where are you hugging your knees to your chest and whispering what you believe to be true?

Be strong, this verse says; you know where the power lies.

Take heart, this verse says, because you know that God is not temporarily in love with you, not just temporarily on your side. God is always yours and you are always His. End of story.

A dog in sheep's clothing

Luna follows me around all day. From one room to another, no place is off limits. Where I go, she follows. She knows my voice, obeys my commands, and rests (in the most vulnerable positions) when I am near. She wants for nothing. This dog even has matching outfits with me… and we look very cute together!

Today, her behavior reminded me of Psalm 23.

I feel like the shepherd, and Luna is my sheep.

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.
Psalm 23:1-3

This is one of the most well-known psalms and draws on David’s experience herding sheep as a boy. I love the image of the sheep following the shepherd because the sheep know his voice and they know that the shepherd will feed them and take care of them.

This psalm is a beautiful example of how God cares for us in our everyday, ordinary lives. It is also an example of how we can see God in our everyday lives. Just by paying attention to something as mundane as taking care of animals, God invited David into an interactive knowledge of His heart. What David saw in his love for his sheep, he saw in God’s love for us too. And when we know the heart of God as our shepherd, we can find peace in the presence of fear, security in the midst of our enemies, and our burned-out souls can be restored.

But as much as we may highlight the invitation to rest in Psalm 23, being able to say, like David, "I have all that I need" does not come naturally to us. Learning to trust God and be content is hard. The success of others, nonstop advertising, our social media feeds, and the inclinations of our own hearts have shaped us to be naturally jealous and discontent. Even rest, as good as it sounds, can be hard to embrace. When God leads us to green meadows or peaceful streams, like in verse 2, we still have to allow ourselves to rest and let our strength be renewed. If your rhythm of life is oriented around achievement, success at all costs, and consumption, even entertainment, you will need to be intentional about rest and practice it as a spiritual habit that realigns our hearts with God’s desire for us.