The most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on

In 1990 I became a mom for the very first time.  I did not know a love so great, so all encompassing.  I thought I did… with my family and even my husband, but when that adorable little girl was placed on my chest — Boom!  She was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on and my heart exploded with a love like no other.

To be honest, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to have second child. I wasn’t sure that I could love another child the way I loved my first. But my dear husband said that if we could, we should. We should give our precious girl a sibling, a person that she could love and support and be supported by when we are no longer around.

In 1993 our second was born. I immediately loved this little boy but I was so anxious to see my girl, who was at home with her grandma. And if I am completely honest, I wondered if I could  love him as much as my first?

At some point a nurse came to take my sweet boy to do whatever tests they needed to do. As I lay in the hospital bed I could hear him crying from down the hall. I could hear the distinct cry of my baby (over the others babies) and in that moment something came over me, like a mama bear instinct. I got out of bed, stormed down the hall and picked up my crying boy. As I was soothing him, I told the nurse that when they were ready they could come to me, they were not to let my baby cry unattended ever again.

I took him back to my room where I feel madly in love with my other little miracle. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on and my heart exploded with a love like no other.

Children can do that.  They can make your heart expand and explode with love. When you think you don’t have room in your heart for another - God provides us the ability to love - to love fully and to love unconditionally!  Just as God loves each of us.

I didn’t think I would ever feel that way again, until today when I held my precious granddaughter for the first time.  She is the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on and in an instant, my heart expanded and exploded exponentially with a love like no other!

My sweet boy is now a dad and I am now a Nana.

I am so grateful.

Mom, dad and baby are well. Nana is having a moment ;)

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another…. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.(1 John 4:9-11,16)

What are you wearing?

Like everyday, after waking up and doing my morning routine, I go into my closet and decide what am I going to wear.  Some days are easy.  If I know I will be at my desk writing for most of the day, I put on some comfy clothes (you know, pants with the elastic waistband, for ease and comfort ;0 ).  If on that day, I know I will be at the church or meeting with folks at various coffee shops, I then need to consider, will I be doing a lot of walking? If so, maybe I should wear pants and comfy shoes. If I will be rather stationary, I can pull out the heels, maybe even a cute dress. And then there is the weather to consider. I also think about the vibe I am going for. Is this a professional meeting?  Or am I meeting a friend?  Do I feel fun? Or should I dress to be taken seriously?

I actually think about what it is I am trying to communicate in the clothes that I choose to wear. So many factors to consider, just in getting dressed!

The Apostle Paul understood that clothes reflect who we are and what we want to communicate.

In Colossians 3:12, he writes: 

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

Paul encourages us to clothe ourselves with the traits of our God, so that we may look more like Jesus.

So how do we do that?

Maybe a place to start is to think about the struggles in our lives that keep us from living more like Jesus, and then replace them with different actions.

• for instance, if we are generally sarcastic and cutting we choose to say something kind instead (clothing ourselves with kindness).

• If we tend to come across harsh, we choose to be gentle in our response (clothing ourselves with gentleness).

• If we are holding a grudge, we choose to forgive and let it go (clothing ourselves with humility).

As we put on the qualities of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience the changes it produces will be evident in the way that we treat those around us.

So, what are you wearing today?

Create in me

A few weeks back I had the privilege of speaking at a Women’s conference where the  theme verse was, “Create in me a pure heart”.  Such a great verse and one that I can certainly relate too.

King David of the Old Testament wrote that verse as part of a bigger prayer to God in Psalm 51. David is known as a man after God’s own heart but he is also known to have made some pretty terrible mistakes. Like when he had an affair with Bathsheba, and then attempted to conceal the secret by arranging the murder of her husband.  Hmmm, sounds like a script for a movie, right? Yet, scripture tells us that David confessed his sin against the Lord (1 Samuel 12:13) and he prayed for mercy in Psalm 51.  He cried out,

“Create in my a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” (vs 10)

The word CREATE in the Hebrew is the same word that is used when God created the heavens and the earth — the sense of being created out of nothing. It is the work of God.

When David prays this prayer he realizes that there is nothing he can do on his own to make it right. He’s been in denial, he made excuses, he rationalized, he wanted this woman for himself and he did whatever it took. One thing compounded on the other and it was a horrible mess.  I’ve been there, maybe not specifically this situation, but I have been in a place where I have done something terrible and cried out to God, for help and forgiveness.

Perhaps we’ve all been there at one time or another?

I think the hard part, even when we come and say “Lord, I am sorry”, is the reality that we may do it again. Right? Try as I might…how can I ever stay on the right track?

That’s where the second part of the prayer comes in. David says, RENEW a steadfast spirit within me.  Inside of me…not externally, but internally.

He’s saying, God cleanse my heart from the things that separate me from YOU and grant me the strength to continue to live on the right path. Now that is a prayer I need to pray!

I believe that “sin” at its heart is always relational. It’s when we realize that we broke God’s heart, that we severed a relationship with God. When we come to God in that way, with that understanding, I believe 100% of the time God will, indeed, create in us a new heart and renew within us a steadfast spirit.

If you are looking for a second chance or craving a relationship with God, but not sure where to start, borrow the words of David.

Create in me a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within me.

When we seek God, we realize that God has already been seeking us!