July 15 Guest blogger Shelly Wedge_God has a plan

God has a plan

I remember the day vividly in my head like it was yesterday. We were sitting in the doctor’s office and she had examined Jake and told us that he had autism spectrum disorder. 

I didn’t expect it. I started to cry as she looked over my hospital reports from his birth and I all could think about that it was my fault that this happened. You see I went into labour at 30 weeks and as you can imagine your brain is not fully developed at that point in time.

My husband and I walked silently side by side holding Jake’s hand as the three of us walked back to the car. I tried to hold the tears in, but they just flowed out. My husband hugged me and assured me that everything would be fine. 

I didn’t realize then what our life was going to look like. I knew that it would be totally different than what we had anticipated and in those first few weeks, I was so very sad. 

I asked the question we all do from time-to-time why? Why us? I thought that I had been through enough already. I had lost my Dad when I was 21, then I married, who I thought was the man of my dreams, only to have it end in divorce seven years later. I finally did meet the man of my dreams, my husband now. 

God in the midst of all this ugliness had a plan. Even in my darkest hours of despair, he was there. I could handle things happening to myself (or so I thought) but not my child. I went right to the worst case scenario because I knew nothing about autism. I imagined our son being institutionalized, taken away from us, this was not what I had signed up for. It’s really the only thing I knew about autism. It looked grim.

But you see, God had a plan, even in all that chaos. He was there. 

My husband said a profound thing to me at that time that I will never forget. He asked me what is our faith for if we can’t trust God to be in charge. He kept saying we needed to rely on our faith to get us through. He was right absolutely, but in theory or so I thought.

There were literally many years I felt so alone and we delved into this totally new world, but when it came right down to it, I did trust God. I know he provided for all the therapy costs and our ability to help our son.

I honestly don’t know financially how we did it. We were living on one income and we needed to buy so many things to get what our son needed. He was on wait lists for services, but we literally had to pay out of our pocked for 18 months. It was hard. I was cranky, but God kept our family together. He was there. This was part of his plan.

I have learned over the years that God does not make mistakes. What happens to us is what’s supposed to happen and as much as I sometimes wished I was in someone else’s life because it looked easier, I would never change a single moment because I believe my life has been so enriched and enhanced and it has allowed me to be open to something I knew nothing about. I have met people who are close friends now, who I would never have met if it were not for God’s plan and autism. Now, I consider myself an autism expert, truly something I never could have imagined and our life is full of promises and opportunities, not despair.

I was reading recently that God allows trials to come into our life so that he can build our trust and faith in him. He wants us to face trying times because that’s how we grow in our faith.

I am thankful that God knows best. I am thankful that even though God didn’t  answer my prayers the way I wanted him too sometimes, that he had a plan and that he has put me in such a great position of being able to have a platform to help and encourage others.

He has led me into helping set up our special needs program at Amberlea, which I am deeply honoured to be a part of. I never would have imagined ever being able to do this even 5 years ago.

Our culture talks about inclusion, but as a special needs parent, it’s extremely difficult at times. You have to have some pretty thick skin to be able to listen to some things and deal with them. I now have this a million times over and I know it’s only through the strength that God has given me that this is possible.

Amberlea has been so supportive of this initiative and I really hope to grow this program once this pandemic subsides. I have a real motivation and dedication to this as I know how important church is to our community.

Keep praying for us and the development of this program. I know that this is part of God’s plan!

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Shelly Wedge is an author, mother, wife and all around amazing woman. She is a member of Amberlea Church and is the Coordinator of the Exceptional Families Ministry.

Waiting

“God, why aren’t you listening?”

Have you ever gone to God with a prayer?  A desperate, “Please God, if You only, then I will …” kind of prayer?

I remember when I was in grade 9 I had this huge crush on a grade 12 boy.  He was so cute, and so smart.  All year long we exchanged glances and I would “accidentally” bump into him in the hall. I prayed and prayed that I would have the courage speak to him but the whole year went by and I hadn’t. Then finally at the end of the school year, as we were wrapping things up in the yearbook room, I found myself alone with him. I plucked up all my courage and said,

“Could you pass me the yellow folder, please?”  He smiled, picked up the folder and sat beside me.

My heart was beating so hard and so loud, I was sure he could hear it from where he was sitting. 

My prayers had come true.  All the nights I dreamt of this moment.  I just knew that God had heard my prayers! He was going to be my boyfriend and we were going to live happily ever after.  It had to be God’s will because that was what I had been praying for.

Then, out of nowhere this dark haired, beautiful boy leaned over and kissed me right there in the yearbook room!  In hindsight it was just a sweet peck, but it was a kiss!  After I caught my breath, he told me that he was moving to the States to live with his aunt and uncle.  He was leaving the next day.

“NOOOO.”  I was devastated. 

“How could You do this to me, God! This guy was the one! I have prayed and prayed and prayed! He was supposed to be the one!  God, what are you doing?” And I even wondered, “God, do you even know what you are doing?”

Of course God did.  Of course God does.

How often in life when we bump up against the unknown we meet with the same answer every time, “Have faith, be patient, it will all work out.”  It’s something that is easier said than done (Proverbs 3:5-6).

However, many years later, I understood. 

Looking back, that ‘relationship’ would have never worked. I couldn’t be with someone who randomly kisses girls in a yearbook room ;)  

Instead, God put someone else in my life, a boy who was so much more amazing, and much more handsome. A person who adores me, supports me and makes me a better person. All along, despite my little crushes and my desires, God had the perfect person just waiting for me. But God was waiting for me, to wait on Him.

Today, what are you asking God for and not getting? It's frustrating to not know what God has planned, but if you have faith, and put your trust in Him, God has something even better waiting for you — better than you can ever imagine. But it’s God’s plan and God’s timing. Are you willing to have faith and wait?

For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.  (1 Corinthians 1:25)

Join me on Sunday as we talk about …Waiting.

Stronger Together by Guest Blogger: Tyler Scrivens

As we come to the halfway point of the year, we look back at the events that have occurred in utter shock and awe. It was just a few months ago that Australia was ravaged by fires, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle stepping down from their royal duties, Kobe and Gigi Bryant, along with seven other passengers died in a helicopter crash, and that was only part of January. There have been numerous other events this year that feel like a lifetime ago. Now we are in the midst of the “unprecedented” global pandemic, and the Black Lives Matter social movement.   

COVID-19 has transformed the way in which the world operates. These changes have led to people feeling isolated, and we have seen a rise in depression and anxiety. We were created to be in community with one another, yet with these restrictions, community seems so distant. As a Youth Group, we have worked to create our own little virtual community. Our weekly Zoom calls are a place where we can share our thoughts, feelings, and be supported though our struggles. A slice of normalcy in our ever-changing world. If you are struggling, I would highly recommend joining one of the Life Groups that Amberlea is offering. Even if you are not struggling, you may be the person that someone needs in their life. Call that friend you have not spoken to in a while, send a quick text to your family member, and invite them into your community. This small action could make a huge difference in that person’s life.

As I speak about communities, I would be remiss to not mention the communities that are struggling, and not just with the fight against COVID-19… but the fight for equality. The Black and Racialized communities, LGBT2Q+ (I hope you all had a great Pride Month!), and other stigmatized communities are working against a broken system that has failed them time and time again. Maybe it is because of the pandemic that people are unable to distract themselves from the injustice that these communities face on a daily basis, but now society is finally calling for a change. Now is the time that we as Christians, and as human beings, can no longer live in our insular lives. It is time for change, and it starts with each one of us. God has commanded us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves, but for too long we have stood idly by as we allow our neighbors to be discriminated and persecuted. 

So, where do we start? We need to educate ourselves on the history of suffering. We need to become aware of our privilege, and use that privilege to make change. Support the Black Lives Matter movement. For those that are wrestling with the “Black Lives Matter” versus “All Lives Matter” debate, in Luke 15: 1-7, Jesus tells us the answer. In the parable of the 100 sheep, did the shepherd stay with the 99 sheep? No, he went after the one that was lost. Did that mean the other sheep did not matter? No, what this means is the other 99 sheep were not the ones in danger. 

It is time for a change. Let us be part of the solution. 

 We are stronger together. 

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Tyler Scrivens is the Youth Director at Amberlea Church. He recently graduated from Knox College (UofT) with his Master’s in Pastoral Studies. Tyler is a Chaplain at Lakeridge Health.